Wits End

There are some days when hope feels so far away. The dream of something else other than what your reality is at the given moment. On the other hand, I have so much to be thankful for. I have an absolutely wonderful husband, a home that I love, a good family, good friends, a job that I love and a garden that is growing. I know sometimes you just have to keep keeping on, some days are just harder than others.

I read this this morning. Maybe it will bring some encouragement...

May 23

They were at their wits' end. Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he brought them out of their distress. Psalm 107:27-28

Are you standing at "Wits' End Corner,"
Christian, with troubled brow?
Are you thinking of what is before you,
And all you are bearing now?
Does all the world seem against you,
And you in the battle alone?
Remember --- at 'Wits' End Corner"
Is just where God's power is shown.

Are you standing at "Wits' End Corner,"
Blinded with wearying pain,
Feeling you cannot endure it,
You cannot bear the strain,
Bruised through the constant suffering,
Dizzy, and dazed, and numb?
Remember --- at "Wits' End Corner"
Is where Jesus loves to come.

Are you standing at "Wits' End Corner"?
Your work before you spread,
All lying begun, unfinished,
And pressing on heart and head,
Longing for strength to do it,
Stretching out trembling hands?
Remember --- at "Wits' End Corner"
The Burden-Bearer stands.

Are you standing at "Wits' End Corner"?
Then you're just in the very spot
To learn the wondrous resources
Of Him who fails you not:
No doubt to a brighter pathway
Your footsteps will soon be moved,
But only at "Wits' End Corner"
Is the "God who is able" proved.

Antoinette Wilson

Do not get discouraged --- it may be the last key on the ring that opens the door. Stansifer

Watching Things Grow

I LOVE watching things grow. This will sound silly but I'm so excited. Jeremy and I planted a garden almost 2 weeks ago. We planted corn, 5 kinds of lettuce, carrots, (thanks Duane!) wax beans, cucumber & 4 kinds of tomatoes. This morning I watered them all and they were all barely sticking out of the ground. This evening, when I got home from work and watered them again, the corn and beans were sticking a couple inches out of the ground and the other things had grown too! Amazing - just like that! I am so excited to see how quickly they are growing. We are looking forward to going out there and picking our own vegetables. Happy growing!

Pics from my Storytelling Trip

Pictures from my trip with Kim to North Carolina...
story telling festival.

Me & Kimmy

Kimberly Weitkamp, Len Cabral, (both professional story tellers) & me
(They both look great, me not so much... but they are the ones on the stage.)

We had so much fun! If you ever have a chance to go to a story telling festival...go. It is your chance to feel like you are 5 years old again. It was great.

Monday

Mondays are a day off for me. Sometimes a day off can be more work than an actual working day but today, I was able to have some friend time. I got to go walk and talk with my friend, Shelly, then we worked out together. (much needed for me) Then I got to spend time with another friend, Tricia. We talked a lot and watched a chick flick together. That is one of the best things to do in my book. So it was really nice to be with friends.

However, I'm still feeling a little out of sorts today. Maybe it is this stinky weather or maybe I am being overly sensitive. I don't feel wonderful and I have gotten my feelings hurt twice today. You know when sometimes you just can't shake things off, well that is how I've been feeling. Anyway - it is just one of those days.

We received our adoption training materials today. It is a giant book and a 4 disc DVD set. Seems like a lot but I guess we can never be too prepared. So we will have to get started on this stuff soon. I think that is all for today.

Mother's Day

My blogs seems to be few and far between. Since my last entry, several things have happened. We have been completely redoing our back yard... new plants, mulch, sod, walkways and even a garden. It has been a ton of work but so rewarding now that it is finished. I'll post a picture as soon as Jeremy takes one. Now it is time to sit back and enjoy the spring and summer. It's a beautiful thing.

On the adoption front, we have submitted more papers to our adoption agency. They will be sending us all our training materials. We have to watch some DVDs and do some reading, then take a test. Our results will be sent to our agency. Not sure how I feel about that but I guess you have to do it. I have also completed (almost) our application for our home study. It will take about 90 days to complete the home study, give or take. That will be a huge bulk of what we have left to do. It will consist of letters, interviews, a visit to our home, etc. So that is where we are right now. God has provided the money that we have needed so far so we are so thankful for that. God is good... all the time.

So, today is mother's day. For me, this year, it is a day of reflecting on who my own mother is to me and my grandmas. I have been so blessed to have wonderful parents and grandmothers. One of my grandmothers passed away five years ago but she is still very close to my heart and sometimes I think I can feel her looking down on me. I think certain things would make her proud, happy or sad. She was my best friend and I'm thankful for every moment the Lord gave her to me. My mom left me a sweet voice mail yesterday saying that she can't wait to wish me a Happy Mother's Day next year. That will be nice. My mom has been a godly example to me all my life and has shown me so much support over the years and I'm so thankful. Thank you Mom - I love you! My other grandma is a precious woman. She is very near 90 and is still trucking on. She has been so loving and supportive to me over the years. Her generosity has taught me to be generous in much and in little. I'm so thankful for that. Today I also think and pray for others who are hurting on this day due to losing a mother, grandmother, a child, not having a good childhood or from not having a child. I know the pain can go very deep and mother's day can make the wound fresh again. Lord, please give them all your grace and peace.

Happy Mother's Day to everyone! It is an honor to have you all as examples in my life.

Telling

Right now I am sitting in a hotel room in Laurinburg, NC with my good friend Kim Weitkamp and watching HGTV & eating cheetos. (Kim just told me she thinks they smell like vomit - nice!) We are having a great time. Kim is a professional storyteller. We are at a festival that goes throughout the weekend & is at a beautiful historical site with a great old house & beautiful grounds. Today they bused in 1400 students for a field trip to listen to the "tellers". This is an amazing, eye opening experience into a whole new world that I never knew existed. I have been able to meet a lot of great people. It is so fun... for the day you just get to go from tent to tent and listen to people tell stories. This is the life! If you are interested in more information, visit www.justkissthefrog.com.

Yesterday was Kim's birthday & we went to a nice restaurant for a late dinner after arriving at the hotel. We enjoyed great food & both laughed so hard we cried & today at lunch we were both sharing stories that brought genuine tears. You might be thinking that that doesn't sound like much fun but believe me - we are having a great time.

I know none of this is related to Mazey but thought I'd share where I'm at right now. I'll do a Mazey update soon.

A Little Behind

I'm a little behind with my updates here. Time has gotten away from me. There isn't a lot to report but I'll let you know what is going on with the adoption stuff. We received our papers back from "Homeland Security" (the I-600A that we submitted a few weeks back). Everything was in order so everything is good with that. We need to get our home study completed and our fingerprinting done to fully complete that step.

I am daily learning to trust God. Sometimes I don't get why it is so hard for me. Finances are something that I struggle with, just wanting to "figure it out." So in the last few days I have been wrestling with my will to want to control this and knowing that I need God to be in control. The adoption expenses are more than I know how to handle or more than I could ever just figure out. I know God is faithful and always has been. Jeremy and I have been more than blessed over the years and if we have ever been left wanting, it has been our doing and not the Lords. So I have to daily give this burden to the Lord. Thank you all for your continued prayers for this.

I am getting more excited as the days go by. It is hard to imagine what life with look like at the end of all this. How a child will turn our life upside down, as I know they will. I know it won't always be easy but I'm excited for the adventure.